You Can't Make This Up!

I am on a business trip right now. But that is not the part I am referring to in the title. I want to talk about the flight. It was a non-stop flight which is something I always want. But that was the only part of the flight that went right.

I woke up on Monday at 7 AM to see the ground covered in "snow" which was not a good sign. The reality was it was ice. I had to leave for the airport at 2 PM. Not good! So I checked the weather forecast and it showed that the temperature was going to get above freezing. Couple that with the sunshine and the ice should melt. Right?

But I had to prepare for the worst. I reserved a cab and then proceeded to get ready to leave. Fortunately, the ice - in direct sunlight - did melt. So, I did not risk my life too much to get into the cab or to the airport.

Fast forward to the flight.

I had picked a seat in the back of the plane. I checked in and saw that my seat got moved to the front. OK. I took comfort in the fact that I had an aisle seat. Then the plane started to fill up. Eventually, my "seat mate" showed up. Let me describe him

He was big. Not muscular, but big! The kind of big where he should have bought two seats just so he had enough space to be comfortable. Not happy - but I focused on the fact that the flight was only three hours. I mean - it could have been a cross-country flight.

Then he slid by me. The EPA would have declared him a disaster area due to the smell. The body odor was overwhelming to the point that it would cause you to be nauseous reading this if I went into a fuller description. So I am going to spare you the pain I felt. You're welcome!

Three hours would not be too painful. Just hope for ginger ale and I would be OK. Yep - there was no ginger ale. Dear God! I started praying that I would not get sick. Well, when the second round of service came through, my "seat mate" decided to get an IPA. Well, two IPAs.

I can read your mind. "What harm could that be?"

That is when he decided that he wanted to talk...to me. How can I describe his voice? Hmm... Think New York accent at full volume. My ears hurt. They would have bled if this had been a cross-country flight.

But it gets worse. Not only was he loud, he decided that he needed to invade my personal space leaning towards me like he was trying to have a private conversation. The only issue is that the people in the back of the plane heard him.

Let's recap! Body odor, loud and obnoxious, invade personal space, and drunk. He could not handle his alcohol. So, with every word he spoke, I was hit with an overwhelming smell of beer.

Did I mention the other guy?

Yes, there was another guy. He was literally the last guy on the plane. He sat in the seat diagonally behind me (by the window). I got slammed with body odor from him as he stood next to me waiting for the guy to stand up so he can get to his seat.

That was three hours of my life on Monday.

Just so you know - that was not the worst flight I was ever on. Let me know if you want to hear that story.