Can Someone Please Explain?

OK. After years of marriage, I find myself back in the world of being single. Then, of course, there is the whole concept of dating. Dating back when I was young was one thing.

What you have today needs some explanation.

The one concept in particular that needs explanation is the whole notion is that if you are not having sex by the third date you need to get the HELL out. Note - not out, not get the hell out, but get the HELL out. (I'm quoting the people who have told me this - men and women.) Kind of makes it seem like you will catch the bubonic plague or worse if you don't.

There are way too many questions. I am not even sure where to start.

With all of the STDs we have today, why would I want to catch one? Am I supposed to start carrying condoms again?

Let's get really real for a moment! One of the biggest advantages of being married, or in a committed relationship, is that you did not have to hit the pause button in order to put a damn condom on. (Talk about a mood killer.) I am still trying to visualize someone who I would barely know trying to put one me. Not working - but that could be me.

Then, since I am man, we will look at it from my perspective. What if the woman is really good at putting on a condom? What thoughts are going through your head at that moment? I am not even going to speculate other than - you better hope she is grading on a curve since it would be your first time having sex.

Then there is my next question. I am, by the third date, supposed to know a woman's entire sexual history. How in the world do you even bring that up?

Hey baby! Who have you slept with throughout your entire life?

C'mon. I am still trying to wrap my head around this. Sex used to be a conversation for a committed relationship. Now, what is it? Small talk?

So, when is your favorite time to have sex?

This has nothing but disaster written all over it. Sex has now become trivialized as the weather in social conversations.

Also, you cannot really be in it for the sex.

Because one thing I have seen is that the people who show up for these weekly or monthly happy hours (or at bars in general) are always the same people. These people are not getting great sex cause if they were - then they would not be showing back up the next day. Happy hours in this day and age are nothing more than a "meat market" as everyone tries to figure out who they are willing to have sex with and nothing else. If you look real close at the frequent "visitors", you can see just how sad this kind of existence is. So, it cannot be about the sex.

Sex used to be personal, intimate between two people in a relationship. Now, it is an obligation to be fulfilled by the third date.

So, can someone please explain how this is even reasonable?